Full Circle Adoptions Newsletter

Congratulations to Carol and Paul whose sons, Robert and Collin (yes, twins!) are the first children to be placed through Full Circle Adoptions. The family was referred by networking agency, Friends in Adoption of Middleton Springs, VT. The family achieved a designation within one month of joining the Full Circle program! The twins were born several weeks thereafter. Paul and Carol participated in a moving entrustment ceremony with the birthmother in Montana, assisted ably by Catholic Social Services. Many blessings, health and joy in the coming years to Collin, Robert and your whole family!!

Also, Congratulations to Kris Anne and Drew of Maine, who came to us through Lil Snee of California and Maine Adoption Placement Services in Bangor. After several meetings with birthmother Kettie, they were invited to be present for the birth of their son Justin (Kris Anne cut the cord!). They participated in a loving entrustment ceremony with guidance from Full Circle Director Marla Allisan and assistance from the Baystate Medical Center Chaplain, Mary Lewis Webb. There was music (Pachelbel's canon, so often heard, but we still cried), candles, and moving original poems. A videotape was made so that both families (and Justin) might remember the outpouring of love and caring expressed that day. Justin Myles was born January 30, 1997. Congratulations!!

Hooray also for the first family to join Full Circle Adoptions: Ann and Stephen of eastern Massachusetts. They achieved a designation within five months of joining the program. Their daughter Sarah Ann was born January 6, 1997 and was joined with them in Wyoming. Ann and Stephen are ecstatic with the joy of Sarah. Thank you also to our adoption colleagues in Wyoming: Virginia Quick and Betsy Groom, LICSW and Peter Feeney Esq. for spectacular assistance to and networking with Full Circle Adoptions. Many Congratulations to Ann and Stephen and thank you for being the first clients to place your faith in Full Circle Adoptions.

Welcome to new families who've joined Full Circle Adoptions Outreach Adoption Program. Also our warm welcome to other families who've begun the homestudy process or requested finalizations and other adoption related services from Full Circle. Best of luck to families who have designations anticipated in the next several months.

Upcoming Meetings
(all at Full Circle offices, 39 Main St., Northampton, MA, 3rd floor)

An Evening About Domestic Infant Adoption: Wed., April 9, 7-9 pm
How does domestic adoption occur nowadays? Is it safe? How much does it cost? How long does it take? Come with your questions! Refreshments will be served. Please call (413)587-0007 for information and directions. We look forward to meeting you.

Groups:

*Birthparent Support Group: Wed., March 26 at noon

*Adoptive Parent Support Group: Sun., March 16 at 3 pm
This group is currently open to clients of the agency.

**Family Building Through Adoption: Sign Up Now!

*The structure of the group is that an Agency social worker will attend for the first 30 minutes. Then the group will meet on its own for the remainder of the time. Our experience is that clients really value "social-worker-free" time with each other and we understand this. Please feel free to share phone lists so that you can talk with each other between meetings! For confidentiality reasons, Full Circle will not release clients' phone numbers to others, but you can choose to share if you wish. See you there!

**New Group!
See below

Greetings, as well, to birthparents who've called Full Circle in recent months. We're pleased to hear from you and welcome your participation in our programs. Our next Birthparents' Support Group is scheduled for Wed. March 26, 1997 at noon at our offices at 39 Main Street in downtown Northampton. We will meet on the last Wed. of every month at noon. This is a free service of the Agency.

You need not have placed through Full Circle to participate in the Birthparent Support Group. You are not alone in feeling a bit nervous about your first meeting! Please feel free to come and ask informational questions as well as receive support. If there are better times for meetings, let us know and we will do our best to accommodate your schedules.

We also provide free adoption informational advising and related counseling on an individual basis.

This seven week group is scheduled to begin as soon as we have six families signed up. On a Monday or Wednesday evening (most likely...but we'll be responsive to your schedules), we will meet to discuss all the subtleties concerning adoption. You need not be a client of Full Circle to participate; you may be a client of another agency and participate. Our goal is education and we warmly welcome any family considering adoption or in the process of adoption.

Who should consider attending? If you are an adoptive parent, are considering the adoptive process, or are in the midst of the adoptive process, you are welcome! Would you like to learn more about the subtleties of adoption? Does adoption sometimes feel to you like a roller-coaster or a maze? Would you like to feel better informed? If so, please join us! You need not be the client of Full Circle or any agency. You may also be the client of another agency. This is an educational program independent of our adoption programs. Look forward to meeting you. Please call to pre-register.

What will be covered? We will present and discuss:

• Family Building Through Adoption: What this means and about the different paths which bring families to adoption.
• Overview of Adoption: The process, history of openness v. closed adoption traditions, about domestic and international adoption, clinical dynamics in the adoption process (relationships between agencies, birthparents, the child, grandparents [adoptive and birth] and adoptive parents).
• Birthparent Panel: Birthparents discuss their decision-making process and their experience of the placement and beyond.
• Adoptive Parent Panel: How it feels to be an adoptive parent (what the process and the placement were like, adoption beyond all the forms and formalities).
• The Spectrum of Cooperative Adoption: "I'm a little nervous about speaking with the birthparents." "It would feel funny...like wouldn't they try to get their child back?" These are feelings most adoptive parents have at some point in the process. Or, "What about those cases where the birthparents sued and won their children back?" We will discuss the realities of domestic placements, talk about the public cases, and some of the fears and concerns of prospective adoptive parents. [We speak of "cooperative adoption" rather than open/closed as there are many more options for communication and maintaining a sense of privacy/integrity of your family than most people realize.]
• Infant Care: In this two hour class, prospective adoptive parents have the opportunity to learn about infant care without attending classes filled with pregnant parents. This is a class just for you!
• Child Development and Adoption Issues: We will discuss normal child development in the context of adoption. It's never too early to increase awareness of some of the issues that can come up. Here's your reading assignment early!--Read at least chapter 3 of "Talking with Young Children about Adoption" by Mary Watkins and Susan Fisher (New Haven: Yale Univ. Press, 1993). We will discuss options for writing the family tree, "life books" the opportunities through videos and other means of helping your child to feel integrated. (We hope to include some adults who joined their family through adoption for some discussion as well.)
• Open Discussion: We will have time periods in the Group where we will follow your lead as to subjects you would like to discuss.
• Adoption Ceremonies: We will talk about the meaningfulness and structure of adoption ceremonies (both pre-placement and post) so that these opportunities for integration, celebration and healing are known to you before you start your adoption path!

What's the cost? The fee for the entire group session is $250 (per family), though, as always we are open to requests for fee modification to suit your financial needs. Health insurance does not cover this educational group.

How do we sign up? Please call the agency at (413)587-0007 and leave on the voice mail or with the office manager: your name, phone number and good times to reach you. We look forward to speaking with you soon.

I think most of the families who've recently been placed with are probably pretty tired. The roller coaster of the adoption process combined with the sleep deprivation that usually comes with a newborn (or two!) means that you don't have much time to compose an essay for the Agency's parents' column. We understand.

So, as we wait for some eloquent parent to describe the exquisite pain and glory of the adoption process, let me say a few words regarding the courage and love I've recently witnessed. Not speaking of any one case, but rather, in general, I want Full Circle's families to know how deeply I admire them.

While it is exciting to be chosen by a birthmother or birthparents, this joy is usually tempered by the fear that there will be a change of heart, concern over one or another legal/clinical detail or general (and intense) "expectant adoptive parent" anxiety. I've been incredibly impressed by the dignity in the face of uncertainty, the willingness to feel both the pain and the exhilaration as the process unfolds, the willingness to take chances, to open one's heart even in the context of high emotional risk and the capacity to love, even when feeling quite emotionally exhausted.

Likewise, for the birthparents, nothing can quite convey the anguish of letting go of a child just recently birthed. Your willingness to make decisions based on the child's best interests, to stay connected during and following the process, your ability to open your hearts to a prospective adoptive family you've known for sometimes a short time period and your ability to rise above some of the cultural messages that would have you feel ashamed...to embrace a ceremony of dedication and entrustment, has had me moved to tears on several occasions this past month. Thank you for your courage and the ongoing demonstration of love for your children. Please keep us informed of the best ways to serve you in the days ahead.

Full Circle Adoptions is fortunate to have the availability of a number of area clinical social workers with expertise in adoption. These colleagues have offered to counsel and assist birthparents during their decision-making process and prospective adoptive parents with homestudies and support during the adoptive process.

In each issue of the newsletter we will make an effort to "introduce" you to clinicians with whom you may at some point have an opportunity to work.

Ms. Owen comes to Full Circle with many years of adoption related experience. She is a former Licensor with the Office for Children (the body which regulates adoption agencies) in addition to her experience completing over 200 homestudies. Ms. Owen has worked extensively with refugees and other resettled communities. She has particular experience in working with Southeast Asian refugees. Ms. Owen completed her social work studies at the University of Chicago after graduation from the University of Delaware with a degree in education (magna cum laude!). She has a private psychotherapy practice in Northampton where areas of special interest are treatment of adoptive and step-families, alcoholics/ACOA's and adult survivors of trauma. We are grateful for your staff trainings on homestudy processes and adoption disruption issues. Thank you for working with us!

As most of you know, I have been the Coordinator of the Connections Program at Brightside Adoption Resource Center for the past 4.5 years. I am indebted to Jane Cohen LICSW, the Director of ARC for giving me the opportunity to grow in the field of adoption.

Full Circle is delighted to report that the network of allied adoption professionals, nationwide, is expanding. We've been placing children with families and achieving designations quite quickly. Please feel free to pass the word of Full Circle Adoptions to families who are ready to pursue adoption as a means to expand their family. We provide free individual orientations.

Be sure to introduce yourself to Silke Schade, our new Office Manager. Silke is a recent graduate of Smith College, where she majored in Women's Studies and German.

Thank you to families and individuals who have contributed to this fund.  We are hoping to create a fund which will have sufficient resources to provide revolving loans and outright grants for adoption expenses for families of modest means.  Thank you for considering this.  Please remember that any contributions are deductible as charitable contributions!

Our 100% cotton T-shirts are available in 4 vibrant colors:  bright blue, yellow, bright pink and lavender.   Net proceeds will be directed to the adoption assistance fund.  Please be sure to state size with order.

Child sizes:   S, M, L  -  $10
Adult sizes:  S, M, L, XL, XXL  -  $15

Please include $3 for postage and handling and indicate size and color..

Send to:  Full Circle Adoptions, 38 Main Street, Northampton, MA   01060

90 East to Exit 4 91 North towards Holyoke/Northampton Exit 18 off I-91 At end of ramp turn left (About a mile ahead is Northampton’s main intersection.)